


A Lonely Night

by love_the_shadows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10539897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_the_shadows/pseuds/love_the_shadows
Summary: Ten years ago she pushed him away. Ten years ago he let her run. Ten years ago they were only 18 years old, both too blind to see what was in front of them.Now, she's heartbroken once more. Now, he refuses to let her get away. Now, their world will collide once more.





	1. Late nights and old friends

She can’t exactly remember what possessed her to travel down this road, what part of her mind told her that this was remotely a good idea. She could see the city lights of Polis fading in her rearview mirror as she drove down the empty freeway. It wasn’t completely empty, but certainly the lack of extreme traffic was suitable, she supposed, for her mood. How truly alone was she that she had to drive from New York City all the way home to the Polis suburb of Arkadia just to find a shoulder to cry on. Her friends in New York were really just Jake’s friends, she had always preferred the people she’d left behind. 

God she was so alone, and the fact that she was only realizing this now killed her. Heck, for how many years had she been living like this, so unsatisfied and bored. And how much of a mess was she that on a stormy night she chose to leave the past ten years of her life behind. She hadn’t taken much from her and Jake’s small apartment, only her clothes and valuables. The rest of the items that occupies that space were meaningless, at least to her. 

In the back of her car was her life in fragments. Yearbooks, photo albums, trinkets, all little things that each held a memory. Sadly, some held memories of him. Of Jake. She couldn’t even bea to think of him, she’d just start crying again which would ultimately slow down the trip. She’d been in such a fit earlier that she’d pulled over just to cry. Oh she was angry at him, hell she was angry at the world, but that didn’t stop the sadness from flooding her at the most inconvenient times. 

Thankfully, Polis wasn’t too far from New York City and she’d been able to drive there in a few hours. Though that was enough time for the loneliness and emptiness of her life to catch up with her. She’d kept the radio on just to occupy the silence, just so that she wasn’t alone with her bleak thoughts. And every now and then a sad song would come on so she’d turn it off, and then she was even more isolated than before. 

Abigail Walters had never felt this way before, never felt this alone, angry, sad, and frightened all at the same time. Well, maybe once before, but she considered that an even worse memory and she didn’t want to think about it. She always believed that once you’d hit rock bottom the only way to go was up, and she was sure that that time in her life was it. Yet here she was, and Abby now felt as if she could call bullshit on that entire theory. 

As she rounded the top of a hill, she saw the modest city lights of Arkadia. It was fairly large for a suburb, so much so that in some places it may be a city, but it wasn’t quite as grand as Polis. Polis had all the monuments and skyscrapers, but Arkadia was truly her home. She hadn’t lived there in ten years, and her parents had moved to Florida 3 years ago. But, the familiar scenery of Arkadia felt more like home than NYC ever would. 

As she approached the off ramp it almost seemed like the rain was getting harder, the thunder rolling in the sky above her more intense. She needed somewhere to go, and not just a cheap motel. She needed somebody to go to, a human who wasn’t as screwed up as herself. 

Once off the freeway, she impulsively decided to ignore her GPS directions she’d imputed herself back in New York. She didn’t know what she was thinking, why would she ever want to end up there. That destination wasn’t exactly a good idea, and she didn’t feel like opening up old wounds at 11:47 p.m on a stormy night. So she’d ignored those directions much to the little animatronic voice’s chagrin and shed driven the other way. She knew her oldest friend, Callie Cartwig, now occupied her parents’ house near her old high school. Abby could never forget where that was, hell she’d spent a lot of time at that house back when it was a simpler time. 

Abby immediately recognized the modest cul-de-sac of her youth, especially the small woods next to it where she, Callie and… no, she wouldn’t go there. Not tonight, not ever. That was a different time, before it all fell apart. 

She began to feel extremely discouraged when she pulled into the driveway and noticed that all the lights were out. In hindsight, she should have expected that when it was almost midnight and she’d shown up at Callie’s door unexpectedly. Abby got out of her car and ran up to the doorstep anyways, just to quickly knock on the door. It was only when she was standing on the front porch how fucking stupid she was, she’d packed her coat and umbrella at the bottom of her suitcase, which was in her trunk. A decision she regretted when she was now on her friend’s front porch cold and wet. 

Callie never came to the door, which was what Abby expected so she wasn’t exactly angry. She was just left alone to her own thoughts, again. She ran back to her car and quickly hopped inside, simply trying to avoid getting too wet in this torrential downpour. As she sat there, rain pounding off her car windows, she let go. Let go of all the anger and sadness built up inside, and she couldn’t stop herself from smashing her hands against her steering wheel. She screamed at nothing, hoping that fate could hear her pain. She let her tears fall, let them soak through the fabric of her jeans and roll down her cheeks. Abby could see herself in her mirror, and god she was a fucking mess. Her hair was tangled and hastily thrown up into a messy bun and the little makeup she’d been wearing had all come running down her face. She reached down for a tissue to wipe off what she could, which was enough to make her look sane and not like the mess she was. “God Abby, you’re twenty-eight years old, get it together,” she cried out to herself. People had always called her a success, but oh how wrong they truly were. 

After giving herself some time to recover, she fumbled for her car keys and turned her car back on. Immediately, her GPS tried telling her to go to her original destination, which really wasn’t too far away. She decided that maybe, just maybe, she should go to where she’d intended to go. The real reason she’d driven all the way to Arkadia so suddenly. Though at the same time she’d hit a new low if she was now basing her choices off of A.L.I.E the GPS system, but that wasn’t going to be the bulk of her problems. 

She was much more confident that this new destination would work out, that her troubled self would have a little bit of luck tonight. Because if anyone was going to be awake past midnight during a thunderstorm on a Saturday night it would be Marcus Kane.  
At the same time, she was a bit worried at what he would do or say when he opened his door to see her. She hadn’t actually had much to do with him since they’d graduated high school ten years ago. They’d seen each other at the occasional party between old high school friends, but they hadn’t really interacted. During their first few years of school they’d face timed a bit, but that quickly stopped. Their conversations were always short, awkward smalltalk, and they were just so busy. Marcus had gone to Stanford University to study law, and she’d gone off to Columbia U to eventually study surgical medicine. They’d cut each other off, but after what happened in senior year it was probably for the best. They didn’t try to maintain a friendship mainly because she had Jake, and he had the occasional girl by his side. 

Though Marcus had just recently moved back to Arkadia after finishing Law School, and this was how she was now driving to his house in the wee hours of the morning. As she pulled up, she was comforted by the fact that the lights were in fact still on in his house, making her warm inside to think that Marcus was still the boy she knew as a teenager. It wasn’t a very large house since he’d just moved in by himself, but it was definitely nice. It was nice to see that he’d been doing well, she used to worry about Marcus a lot, back when he was the more troubled one of course. Though she knew he’d been doing well, she’d seen all of his Facebook updates and such. He graduated as one of the top students in his class, and he definitely has his future planned out, unlike herself. She’s taken some personal time off from work, but her surgical residency back in New York won’t wait on her emotions forever. 

Abby slowly pulled into his driveway and turned her car off, shoving her keys into her purse in a haste. She was oddly excited to see him again because despite their falling out, she had so many fond memories with him. He was still Marcus Kane, her favourite partner in crime from her youth. 

She was now sad, cold, wet, and tired all at once and she was tempted just just sleep on his porch as she waited for him to answer the door. It wasn’t long after she knocked that she heard footsteps growing louder and louder. Suddenly, the door was opening as she heard Marcus’ familiar voice. 

“Who the hell is knocking-” he paused as he looked down at her. His dark brown eyes gazing into hers with confusion and shock. God, he was more handsome than she remembered. He’d gotten more muscular and had a bit of a light stubble. Oh, but the signature Marcus Kane hair was still there, which was one of his best features. Though Abby wasn’t here to get distracted by the model of a man standing before her who had broken her heart many years ago, she just needed a place to say, “Oh, Abby, I um wasn’t expecting to see you,” he muttered. Surely that was the understatement of the year. 

“I know this is a lot to ask Marcus, but I need a place to stay for the night and I was hoping that I could stay here. I could find somewhere else though”

“It’s no problem Abby, honestly. Come on in, you must be cold and wet,” he remarked. She definitely was, and it felt nice to step into the comforting aroma of Marcus’ home. “I’m sorry for the boxes everywhere,” he spoke up. “I haven’t been productive when it comes to unpacking everything. You can, um, just make yourself comfortable on the couch if you’d like.” He directed her into his living room, where there sat a couch, television, and ornate bookshelf that was desperately overflowing with is elaborate book collection. She also noticed the record player in the corner of the room along with a small vinyl collection. Same old Marcus, loved his records and books like no other. 

Abby made her way to the couch and sat down while removing her wet hoodie, and she was pleasantly surprised by how comfy his couch was. She was already feeling the fatigue catch up to her when Marcus came up from behind her and reached for her sweater. 

“I can go throw than in the dryer for you, if you want,” he asked. 

“That would be lovely, thanks Marcus.” And with that he took the sweater and was gone. Only to the laundry room, but gone long enough that she felt really awkward sitting alone in his small living room. She noticed that he’d unpacked a few photos, a couple of them from their high school years. She smiled faintly at one of them, because she would recognize that scene anywhere. It was probably from the best, and worst, night of her life. 

Thankfully, Marcus returned quickly and even with some extra pillows and blankets. She was eternally thankful since she would probably be even colder without her hoodie now. 

“I brought you some blankets and such, thought you’d need ‘em,” he smirked. She just smiled up at him as she took the stuff from him, but she tried to avoid his eyes. She knew her own eyes were most likely red and puffy from all the crying and she didn’t exactly want to explain the full story to him now. 

“So Abby-”

“No questions tonight, please Marcus. I can explain a little in the morning, but not now.,” she begged.

“Actually, I was just going to ask if you wanted some hot cocoa,” he explained. Oh god, she managed to make this even more awkward. 

“Yes please, if you don’t mind,” she answered. While he was preparing her beverage he respected her wishes of not asking any questions. She didn’t think he would ignore it, Marcus was far too sweet of a boy to do that. Well, he was a man now wasn’t he? And she was a woman, god, it almost felt like they’d never parted. Though at the same time, so much had happened in their lives since then. Abby didn’t know that much about him anymore, she could only hope that he hadn’t changed. 

He came in a few minutes later with her hot cocoa in a large mug with an “M” on it, and Abby felt transported back ten years for the hundredth time that night. 

“Sorry ‘bout the mug, it’s the only clean one I have,” he chuckled. She didn’t know why he was apologizing for the insignia on a mug, but she supposed he was just as nervous around her right now as she around him. 

“Isn’t this your mother’s homemade hot cocoa recipe?” Abby could recognize the smell of Vera Kane’s signature hot chocolate from anywhere. She didn’t know what she added into the mix of the store bought powder and cream, but it was definitely special. All the time she’d spent at Marcus’ house when they were younger, his mother would make them this. And when she was sick, Marcus would bring a thermos of it over to her house just for her. And now as Abby looked down at the dollop of whipped cream floating on the steaming liquid she wondered if the drink’s magical healing powers still remained. As if all these painful and wonderful waves of nostalgia could somehow fix her overnight. 

“Yeah, she gave it to me when I left for University, saying that it as about time to divulge her secrets,” he laughed. “Anyways, I’ll um, let you get some sleep ‘cause I’m assuming you’re pretty tired. Washroom is right down the hall on your right if you need it and, um, yeah.”

“Thank you, Marcus. I’m in your debt”

“Don’t sweat it, and sleep well Abby,” he bid. And with that he shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way upstairs. Meanwhile, Abby made sure to get herself comfortable after gulping down her lovely, warm cup of cocoa. The blankets Marcus brought down for her were lovely, and so was everything else really. She almost forgot to turn the light out, and honestly she was tempted to leave it on for comforts sake. Though realistically if she wanted to get any sleep she would definitely turn it off, and so she did. Abby didn’t want to be alone tonight, she was already lonely enough in this world. But it’s not like she expected Marcus to sleep on the floor next to her all night long, so all she could do was curl up on his couch surrounded by warmth. His blankets smelt like him, and that was enough to trick her brain into thinking that she didn’t have to walk the world alone. And as the storm raged on outside, she found sanctuary in Marcus Kane’s living room.

***

Abby woke up the next morning to a very unfamiliar smell, breakfast. Not the makeshift breakfast she’d get from the hospital cafeteria before rounds started, no, this was real food. And it actually smelt very good, despite the fact that even thinking about last night's events made her nauseous. Oh, and then she had to remember exactly where she was, and who was the one occupying the kitchen. Marcus, she was at Marcus’ place. She wanted to cry just at the thought of trying to get out of this really awkward situation, how she could magically explain her turning up at his door past midnight. Or how she would explain the state she was in when he’d found her on his porch in a storm. He must think she’d lost her wits. 

“Hey Abby, you hungry?” So he noticed she’d gotten up. She wasn’t in the mood for much talking, so she only nodded her head in response. She then decided that it would be polite to go join him in the kitchen while he was finishing up. She was surprised to find Stanford Law graduate Marcus Kane, who always seemed so poised and serious over social media, wearing plaid pyjama pants and an old T-shirt. Though she would recognize that shirt from anywhere, he’d been wearing his vintage Rush shirt on that night... no, she wouldn’t even dare to go down that road again. “I just made some simple eggs and bacon if that’s cool with you. Not sure if living in New York CIty has upped your standards so I hope you approve,” he chuckled. 

“If anything I think living in California would make me a snob”

“Good thing I don’t live in California anymore then.” He turned around and looked at her with his oh so familiar smirk, still with it’s boyish look. Oh no, is he flirting with her? No, that’s just Marcus being his naturally charming self. She sat down at his little table as he served up her plate of food. He didn’t bother making much conversation, and neither did she. Abby assumed that he was walking on eggshells since the last time they’d been friendly like this it didn’t end well, her heart was broken. The pieces smashed into tiny fragments that one could only look at, not repair. She thought Jake had put her back together, but he never truly did and now he was gone. God, she was the reason Marcus and Jake had both left her life. 

She ate her breakfast, very delicious breakfast, quite quickly. Mainly because it was that good, but also because she needed to vacate his presence. 

“Thank you for all of this Marcus, really. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t such an insomniac and let me into your house so late,” she joked. He smiled at this, and a pang of regret pierced through her. She’d thrown him away, it was her fault. Though, he started it. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Only it looked like you were having a tough time and I’m here if you want to talk. No matter what was said ten years ago, I still consider myself your friend.” Marcus sounded almost as if he was begging her to stay, as if he needed someone too. Though he couldn’t do it, how she hated him referring to himself as her friend. 

“I’m fine,” she spat. Not wanting him to get involved in her personal matters, she had too many secrets and not enough willpower to keep them from him. “Sorry, I um, i should really just leave,” she muttered. 

And with that she took off. Abby made sure to quickly collect all of her things and make a run for it, not wanting to be in his caring and exposing gaze for much longer. God, why did she let him affect her so? She’d get out of his place, and make her way back to Callie’s. Hopefully, Marcus would forget that she was even here.  
Abby quickly made it out the door to her car, not without another awkward goodbye though. She took no time in driving off and finding her way to Callie’s, though she couldn’t help but notice in her rear view mirror that Marcus just stood on his front porch watching her leave. It really was just like ten years ago.


	2. Phone Calls and Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback! Callie! Bonus: Me taking every opportunity to drag Thelonious Jaha, even in a modern AU.

“So Abs, what brings you back to Arkadia?”

“I broke up with Jake,” she mumbled. Abby had only just arrived at Callie’s about five minutes ago and the questions were already starting to roll in about why exactly she came home. Though Abby was bracing herself for the questions about Marcus that would start up.

“Honey, I’m so sorry, I wish I could fix your heartbreaks,” she consoled.

“I wish I felt differently about the whole thing though. I loved Jake, i did. We spent ten years together, and they weren’t bad years. Though when i think about why I’m so sad and angry, it’s only directed at me,” Abby confessed. It was true, all of it. Abby felt alone in the world and she mourned for her own happiness. She didn't mourn for her relationship with Jake. 

“I can tell you why Abs, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear it,” Callie remarked.

“I really don’t,” she snapped. Abby didn’t want to be rude to her friend; Callie was hosting her for god's sake. But this felt exactly like it had ten years ago, and Abby didn’t want to repeat any of that teenage drama. 

“Well, can you at least tell me what went down between you and Jake, because I’m dying for some info over here,” she laughed. Though, Abby could tell she was still pretty serious about it. 

“Our relationship had been falling apart for a while honestly. I spent so much time at the hospital because of my residency that I never really saw him. We never got to go out together or really enjoy our relationship; it honestly was like we weren’t even romantically involved at all. I think we both saw it coming in the end,” Abby explained.

“But you said you two had an argument, right?” 

“We did, he felt neglected and he was completely right. I neglected him and I used him. I didn’t exactly need him as much as I needed a close friend, and that's what we were. Close companions, because like I said before, our relationship had become stagnant a long time ago. We both said some things, ultimately ruining our friendship I guess, though i know what he said was true-” 

“Please Abs, don’t beat yourself up over this. You two were always more friends than lovers anyways.” Callie had known them when they first got together just before senior prom. To be honest, they were each other’s last minute prom data, and other than passing each other in the halls they hadn’t talked much.

“It’s just, I was really upset about losing his friendship over my stupidity. Let me remind you that I contributed to that argument, Callie. I just suddenly realized how lonely I truly was without him, how I longed for a companion other than myself,” she confessed. She wasn’t scared of revealing the innermost workings of her mind to Callie since they were so close. Plus, Callie Cartwig knew her secret, and has never betrayed her trust. “So we finished arguing, and I packed up my personal belongings and left right then and there. I cried a lot, because there is a lot that reminds me of him. Though my sadness is more because all these memories of us together just nags me about how truly alone I am.” 

“Ya know, Abs, it’s also because you mourn for all the time you’ve wasted.” She didn’t want Callie to go down this road; she already knew her own mind. She wasn’t eighteen anymore. “You’ve spent so much time denying yourself the love you desire and deserve. You and Jake Griffin were definitely very good friends, and he made you happy in a friendly way. But honey, he was just a distraction from your real problem-”

“I don’t need you to remind me of my own feelings Callie. Can we please change the subject,” she begged. Though Callie persisted, and maybe it was a good thing.

“Face it Abby, you’re lonely because you deny yourself love and that is what eats you from the inside. Eighteen years ago you thought it would be easy to move on, but you quickly realized that you couldn’t.” They were relatively harsh words for Abby to swallow, mainly because they were true. God, she hated the painful truth and how everything seemed to be her fault. Logically, she knew it wasn’t, there were other factors involved in that decision to let go. Though Abby was the type of person who preferred to punish herself rather than others. 

She couldn’t help but stare out the window and wonder what exactly Marcus was doing right about now. Did he go to work? Did he have a day off? She spent the night at his place but she didn’t really know anything about him. Hell, that made it even more awkward; it was almost like a non-sexual one night stand. What kind of fucking mess did she get herself into?

“So where did you go?”

“What?’’

“Last night you said you left, so where did you go? Because you certainly didn’t take the whole night to drive here, especially in that storm,” Callie questioned. Abby didn’t exactly say anything, but she looked across the room at her friend with a somewhat guilty look, and Callie laughed a little despite herself before exclaiming, “Oh my god, you went to Marcus’ house.” 

“I only went as a last resort. I wasn’t going to pay for a motel since I’m still trying to watch my money with my student debt, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to knock on Thelonious’ door.”

“Oh god no,” she laughed.

“And Marcus is a bit of an insomniac, I knew he’d be up past midnight.”

“So if you were there, then why are you here? I mean, were amazing friends Abby but this is Marcus Kane were talking about, he probably took way better care of you than I am right now,” Callie joked. Abby would never tell Callie this to her face, but she kind of missed Marcus’ hot-chocolate making skills, and maybe him. In an odd way though, because with the amount of secrets between them everything was so awkward.

“It was weird since there is just so much between us, you know? Plus, he kept trying to help me.”

“Wait, and this is a problem because…?” Abby let out a long sigh, Callie was probably still very entertained and distracted by the thought of her spending a night on Marcus Kane’s couch. 

“Because i don’t need him to fix me,” she whined. Oh my god, she sounded like a teenager again. Abby honestly thought that at twenty-eight years old she’ have grown up a bit.

“You know, that’s exactly what he used to say to you, Abs”

***

Ten Years Ago… 

_It was a lovely fall day out, the sun was shining and the beautiful autumn colours dappled the trees. Abby, couldn’t quite pick out a reason to be miserable on a day like this, hence why she’d chosen to walk home from school. Normally, Marcus Kane, one of her closest friends, accompanied her. She and Marcus had been partners for a project in drama class back in grade nine, and their friendship had blossomed from there. Now at the start of senior year they were a lot closer, and Abby couldn’t seem to figure out why they weren’t friends before._

_Marcus was ambitious, confident, and successful, at least on the outside. He had certain darkness and sadness to him that Abby had always tried to coax out of him. And sometimes, he had bad days. There was a reason he’d felt the need to skip last period today, something he wouldn’t usually dare doing. Abby knew that for her, it was the perfect fall day, but for Marcus it was only full of grim memories._

_Despite how close they were, Abby didn’t really know the inner workings of his mind. She knew he was actually a very soft and caring 17 year old boy and he didn’t always show it, but that was basically it. Though what she did know, was that 11 years ago today was the day that his father died._

_He’d talked about it once, about how his father was in a terrible car crash and how his death had been instant. Though that was all she’d gotten out of him. She hoped that on this sunny day, she could open him up a bit. She knew that it would help him quite a lot. His mother had told Abby once that she shouldn’t get her hopes up though. Vera Kane was a lovely woman and she loved her son, but she knew that he would not reveal himself to just anybody._  

_So here she was, walking alone on her way to find Marcus. Abby knew where to find him, they had a spot that they both really liked and would always go there in search of some peace and quiet._

_There was a forestry area that backed onto their neighbourhood of Arkadia, in which if you traveled deep enough you would find this lovely pond. This was their spot, right next to the water away from the scrutiny of the world. Abby veered off the familiar sidewalk and down into the wooded area just down a small hill. Some of the leaves had already fallen from the trees and they blanketed the forest floor in a sea of colours. If today wasn’t such a sad day, she was sure Marcus and herself would act like little children and build a leaf pile. Despite their mature appearance, they were still only seventeen and enjoying life before they went off to post-secondary education._

_Abby trekked through the woods quietly, hoping that if she did find Marcus she wouldn’t scare him off. And just as she predicted, he sat on top of a large bed of rock that rose up from the earth so that you could look over the whole lake. She knew it was him simply by the bag, leather jacket, and his iconic hair. God, every girl in school talked about that hair. Marcus sat with his knees brought up close to his chest, his head in between them. His body was shaking a little, and she assumed it was because he was crying. He wasn’t the type of guy to openly admit to such a thing, but she suspected his heart ached more than the average person’s._

_She approached him like he was a small deer, afraid that she would quickly be pushed away. Thankfully, he said nothing and didn’t voice any objection to her sitting next to him. She moved his bag off to the side so that she could sit a bit closer to him, perhaps her presence would somehow provide more comfort._

_“You sure you don’t want to talk, Marcus? I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I think it would make you feel better,” she spoke, and as gentle as possible. Marcus wasn’t soft, but she had this odd protective instinct when she was around him._

_“You know that my dad died 11 years ago, today.”_

_“There’s obviously more to the story,” she pushed. He looked at her for a second, but it only took that little time for her to notice how his eyes were a bit puffy. How long had he been sitting here alone with his painful thoughts?_  

 _“I was there.” What did he mean he was there? “When he died, I was there.” Now she understood, but she couldn’t at the same time. Never could she understand, or pretend to feel his pain. Marcus would’ve been six, just a sweet little boy…_  

_“It was a bad car accident,” he explained. “It was no one's fault, it was a rainy day with terrible road conditions, we shouldn’t have even been out. A bunch of cars crashed, including ours. It was just my dad, and I and he was killed instantly-” Marcus stopped, choking on the words that were trying to escape his lips. She could almost pain the picture herself, a little six-year-old Marcus who’d just had his innocence shattered into a million pieces. It was hard to fathom, considering how she’d never known that much pain in her seventeen years of living. She shed a few tears on his behalf, but he wasn’t finished._

_“I remember that I’d begged him to let me sit in the front seat, but he’d said no. If he didn’t, i would’ve been killed too. I’ve tried to remove the majority of that day from my memory, but some parts refuse to be edited out. I can remember waking up, the paramedics pulling me out of the wreckage. My life changed there, I left part of myself in the debris that day, Abby, and I lost part of my family.” His resolve crumbled enough to allow for a couple of stray tears to cascade down his cheeks. “I have a few scars from that day that remind me of what happened, but it’s always the same date every year that gets me.”_

  _Abby looked up at the beautiful scenery that surrounded her. And how despite the vibrant colours, Marcus could sometimes only see the world in shades of grey. His life made a very monotone world by his own dark subconscious._  

_She hated to think that he carried such heartache around with him every day of his life. If it were up to her, she would never let anyone or anything hurt him ever again._

_“I’m so sorry Marcus, I didn’t know… I didn’t know it was like that.”_

_“No one else knows, except my family.” Well, she knew now, so was she included into this secret list?_  

_“I’m glad you told me all this. We’re friends, and we can tell each other things, right?” For the first time today, he smiled a little. It made her even happier because his smirk was meant for her. She was fairly determined to put him back together, piece by piece if she had to. Marcus was very distant when it came to relationships with others. Abby knew that he was becoming more comfortable with Jacapo and Callie after hanging out with her for a few years, but he wasn’t too open about himself with them. She knew he hung out with Thelonious and that whole crowd, but he didn't’ actually like them that much. They just all knew each other because they formed the student council, so it as more of a relationship of tolerance._

_“Come on Marcus, we should go,” she said as she pulled out her phone to check the time. It was getting late and the last thing Abby wanted to be was late for dinner. “Besides, I think I would like the newly elected vice president of Arkadia Secondary School’s student council to walk me home.”_

_“Surely, Abigail Walters,” he teased._

_“Marcus, it’s weird to hear you call me by my full name, it sounds way too formal.” She was so glad, right then, that he’d lived through that car accident. Because no matter how much it hurt him he was still here to be her friend, and to be himself. And Marcus Kane really was a gift of a human._  

_“You got it, Walters.”_

_“Don’t get fresh with me, Kane,” she giggled. He could tell jokes with a straight face however she could not. Though he would only just laughed when she did, and again it made her light up inside that she could do that for someone._

_They walked in silence for a while, which was actually rather peaceful and pleasant. Their lives were so complicated and confusing at this point, filled with vibrant characters, that sometimes some quiet did good._

_Marcus was the first to break the silence when they turned onto Abby’s street, the sun just beginning to set above the clouds. It was really close to dinner and she didn’t want to be late, but she was willing to slow her pace if it meant that she could talk to Marcus for a little bit longer._  

_“Thanks for that Abby, really.”_

_“It was you who did the talking,” she smiled._

_“You were the one I could talk to, so I thank you for that,” he replied, a true sincerity in his voice. She knew that she could never fully erase the pain, and she didn’t want to. She wanted to share it, help him through his darker thoughts when he was lonely. When she met Marcus in ninth grade, he was still very much the same. It looked like he had it all, but he wasn’t truly happy. She made him happy, and he made her happy, that’s what friends were for. Friends, to possibly best friends, that’s what they were._

_Marcus walked her up to her door and waited for her to go inside before he left. She said her goodbyes, but just before his departure her mom called,_  

 _“Oh, Marcus, would you like to stay for dinner?” A large part of her wanted him to say yes. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary since their respective families had become rather close due to their friendship. Sadly, Abby already knew what the answer was, though she completely understood that him and his mother needed this night to be just the two of them._  

 _“No thanks Mrs. Walters, my mom is already expecting me,” he called back. And with that they parted ways for the night. Though as Abby sat down at the table she made sure that she could have a clear view of the street from her chair. She watched him stroll down the lonely street towards his place, hands in his pockets and hair blowing in the cool, fall breeze._  

_***_

“Abby, he cares about you just as you care for him so I swear to god, please go back to his place,” Callie moaned, this conversation had gone on way too long and Callie had resorted to a sort of begging.

“You want me out of your house that badly?”

“God Abby no, but I’m assuming you’re going to end up staying here permanently and this house gets pretty crowded,” her friend explained.

“First of all, it was a joke,” she giggled. “And second of all, this place is much larger than Marcus’, yet you insisted I go live with him not even five minutes ago.” Abby failed to see how she could beat that logic.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that I do have roommates,” Callie giggled. Fine, fair point.

“Oh who is it? I swear if you say Thelonious I will go to Marcus’ in a heartbeat,” she laughed.

“No no, just Jacapo and his girlfriend Sarah,” she laughed. The two of them were practically dying of laughter; Thelonious had always been the centre of their jokes in high school. Though normally Marcus was here when they did this…

“I’ll take the couch for a bit then, until I get settled here that is. New York was never really my style anyways.” It's true, somehow it never had what exactly she was looking for, and her mind always wandered somewhere else.

*** 

Abby missed being able to sit outside in the peaceful silence of the night and watch the stars. In the city the lights are all so blinding, but in Arkadia it was calm and peaceful, a place to reflect. She enjoyed being able to sit outside again now that the springtime weather was setting in, though her peace was not eternal, as she realized, when her phone began to vibrate out of control. She picked it up off her lap and was met with the glare of her screen that had Marcus’ photo on it asking her if she wished to accept the phone call.

“Hello,” she spoke calmly into the device, hoping to maybe steer him away from conversation. She’s not quite sure if she even knows why she answered his damn phone call. “Are you tracking me Kane?” Of course Marcus had the perfect rebuttal to that.

“No, you just never changed your number.” Despite herself, she laughed at this. 

“Well, neither did you since you’re still in my contacts list.” 

“Oh, you kept me in your contacts list now?” This man was unbelievable.

“Control your ego, Marcus Kane,” she giggled. “Don’t make me do it for you because i can tell you my time in the city has made me tougher,” she challenged. 

“Has it now? Maybe you could tell me about your big city adventures over coffee tomorrow?” God, he was good. She felt like a teenager about to go on her first date, though this was the exact opposite. It was just two old friends with a lot, _a lot_ , of history.

“Stop flirting with me Marcus,’ she giggled. Oh god, she couldn't even keep a straight face. 

“No, this isn’t flirting, just a proposition. Meet up at our old place? 11:00?”

“Fine, I suppose that’ll work,” she huffed. And with that he hung up, the little noise the phone made when he did so echoing in her ears. What the hell was she doing? This was the worst idea she’d had in awhile, but then why did it almost feel right? Abby leaned back on the patio chair and gazed up at the starts, hopelessly trying to figure out what fate has planned for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to just quickly clarify that in no way, shape, or form am I trying to de-legitimatize Abby and Jake's relationship in canon. I just needed their relationship to be this way for the purposes of this fic. Hope you all enjoyed!


	3. Fun Nights and City Lights

Abby couldn’t have ever forgotten where their place was, even if she’d tried. They’d spent so much time there during high school that it would be almost impossible. The little coffee shop on the street corner was always a special place, mainly because she and Marcus were the type that needed coffee constantly. Once Marcus got his license he would borrow his mother’s car sometimes, and it was on those days that he’d get her a coffee before their fourth period English class began. He was always sweet like that, and it always made her young heart soar.

As Abby turned the corner she saw the front of the small coffeehouse, which hadn’t exactly hanged in ten years just like everything else. And of course, Marcus’ car was parked in the same spot, as always, which was just peachy. Abby parked a little ways down the street, just so that they wouldn’t be parked next to each other. She was about to get out of her car when she saw the time, 10:53.

Marcus had said to meet for 11:00. She didn’t want to show up early and then make herself seem super eager for this. She didn't want to let him know that after their phone call the previous night that she may have stayed up planning out the meeting in her head. Because oddly enough, some twisted part of her wanted to do this, wanted to treat it like a date. Though it wasn’t a date, she’d repeated that mantra in her head trying to fight that pesky romantic voice that kept invading her toughs. What was best for her was to just be friends, though realistically they could never be just that. Still, they weren’t 18 anymore, perhaps she could start over.

Abby had thought a lot about Callie’s words, not only last night but for the last ten years. She thought that letting Marcus go, was the best case, that it would make both of them happy and avoid mutual longing. Though what she’d failed to understand that longing like that doesn’t just go away. And the fact that she was sitting in her car about to meet Marcus Kane was proof of that. 

Suddenly, she was snapped out of her thoughts by the buzzing of her phone. Of course, it was Marcus. Reluctantly, she answered the call.

“Hey, what’s taking you so long?”

“What do you mean? You said we’d meet at 11, and it’s only 10:53.”

“Yeah but I saw you drive by, Abby.” Of course he did, that smug man. Now he definitely knew that she was hiding in her car. Damn it.

“I’m on my way Marcus, can’t a person park her car?”

“You can’t run from me forever, Walters,” he chuckled. It was meant to be a little joke, but he really was correct. She couldn’t run from him forever. God, ten years running from him was enough, but she wasn’t ready to surrender quite yet.

She’d taken her time getting out of the car, maybe just to spite him a little. Though she enjoyed taking her time to walk the familiar street, something she missed doing. Back in New York, everything was so busy and crowded all the time, at least for her taste. Polis was very similar, but this suburb of Arkadia was a stark contrast to both. It was quieter, more calming but somehow equally chaotic. It was crazier for her, emotionally that is.

Despite the millions of incoherent thoughts running through her head, she’d actually managed to look calm and collected as she strolled down the sidewalk and into the small cafe. She saw Marcus occupying the old couch near the large window completely immersed in a book he was reading. Abby swore that it was the same couch from when they were teenagers, but it made her feel a bit warm inside. Out of everything that has changed since then, there was yet another thing that was constant.

Marcus had heard the sound of her heeled boots on the wooden floor as she’d approached him and he gazed up at her, his eyes warm and inviting. 

“I was beginning to think you weren't going to show, Walters.”

“I’d hate to be predictable all the time”

“Keeping me on my toes like always,” he chuckled. He seemed much more relaxed than she was. God, why did she have to be such a mess?

“I recognize your book Marcus, pretty sure you chose that one to read on purpose.” 

“What if I did? What if I happen to think of the good old days when I read it?”

“The good old days,” she snorted. “You’re a funny guy, Marcus.”

“What? They were hectic, but we had fun. We were happy,” he muttered sadly. So it wasn’t only her. It wasn’t only her that had spent the last ten years secretly unhappy with certain life choices, who felt that a piece of herself had gotten lost along the road. She’d believed for the longest time that Jake would eventually fill that hole, but he never truly did. He’d taken lovely care of her, but she wasn’t meant for him in the end.

How many girls had Marcus dated? How many had he turned away because they couldn’t fill the void in his heart?

***

_“You, are absolutely ridiculous, you do know that?”_

_“What? I really want to hold on to a couple of memories from high school”_

_“Marcus, stealing copies of books because you are incredibly cheap doesn’t count. Why don’t you just be normal and buy a yearbook or something?”_  

_“Ah Abby, that’s far too basic for such a special fellow like myself,” he teased. Though really, she knew he was pretty serious about it. Marcus could be a little bit of a self-centered asshole sometimes, but he was hers._

_“I can’t believe I’m still friends with you,” she joked. She wouldn’t trade her friendship with Marcus for the world. They had trust, which was something hard to find as a teenager in a gossip filled high school. They each had many other friends of course, but she and Marcus understood each other in a way the others couldn’t get. They matched each other, as in one did not overpower the other. Abby liked to fancy herself as a strong, smart, and confidant young woman. Marcus seemed to be the one to bring that out, to challenge her on it._

_However, swiping books from the English Literature inventory wasn’t what she considered a good use of her time. Especially when Mr. Pike, the English Lit teacher, was probably the most serious and menacing teacher in the school._

_“I don’t see why I had to join you on your little escapade, you could have done this by yourself or with one of your other friends.”_

_“Well, you see you were like right here. In the school that is.” It was true, she would give him that. She’d stayed after school to work on her lab for a bit longer, and just as she was leaving she ran into him. He was there for one of his many student council meetings. She knew Marcus hated being the Vice-President to Thelonious, but he did it anyways because he took secret pleasure in disagreeing with him._

_“You still didn’t have to drag me along with you. I could be at home right now with a nice cup of hot chocolate.” Marcus chuckled a little and looked at his feet._  

_“If I told you that I just wanted to hang out with you, would that stretch belief?” She laughed at this, considering his idea of hanging out was rummaging through school books. He was cute though, standing on top of a chair in the literacy storage room trying to reach the top shelves. Even though he was probably the tallest guy she knew, he couldn’t quite reach the top and she kind of worried when Marcus stood on a chair. God knows he had terrible balance and if anyone were to fall off, it would be him._

_“Hey, can I look?” Now, after staring for a while, she was interested in what was on some of these dusty shelves._  

_“Yeah, but there’s no way you’re reaching those top shelves, Walters,” he chuckled._

_“Shut up, Kane. I’m well aware of how I am vertically challenged.” he teased her about it, in a friendly way of course. Abby supposed they’d look a little funny when they walked side-by-side, just because of the height difference. But, she supposed, that made their friendship just a bit more unique. Marcus stepped down from the chair to let her get on it, extending his hand for her to grab ahold of in case she needed it, which it turns out she did. However, only a minute after starting to take interest in Marcus’ weird pastime, she lost her own balance and fell off the rickety chair._

_She felt her heart stop for a second until she realized that she hadn’t hit the floor. Instead, she was braced securely in Marcus’ muscular arms. Thank god he was there to catch her, or else she would’ve hit rock bottom._

_“Thanks for catching me,” she gasped. The poor boy, she’d probably frightened him to death judging by the look on his face._

_“Well did you think I’d ever let you fall?”_

_“No, of course you wouldn’t.”_

_“Are you okay? Are you hurt at all?” She was perfectly fine, thanks to him. And despite herself, she started laughing uncontrollably._

_“What is it?”_  

_“Nothing Marcus. Well, just that we really are stupid teenagers. Look at us,” she chuckled. Yes, this was definitely an interesting way to spend their evening. Though, nothing was ever conventional about them, even their get-togethers._

_It was only after an sufficiently awkward moment of silence before Abby realized that Marcus was still holding her, though it wasn’t like she was really complaining or anything. Eventually, he realized how weird it was too and quickly put her down, attempting to regain his composure._  

_“Let me buy you a coffee or something. You know, an apology for dragging you into my odd little adventure and stuff.”_

_“Marcus you don’t have to, I actually had fun-”_

_“Please. I insist. I even have my mom’s car today so we don’t have to take the bus or walk.” Well, it’s not like Abby was going to say no to him. She nodded her head in agreement, quite enthusiastically as he grabbed the one book he decided to remember his senior year with and quietly left the room, carefully closing the door behind them. Marcus was definitely a troubled guy, and sometimes seemed a little lost, but in this moment she would trust him to lead her anywhere._

_Though she told herself a while ago, that she couldn’t let herself get too close to him. She knew Marcus wanted to leave Arkadia the minute he could, and she didn’t want to stand in the way of that._

_Once she was outside, she realized just how lovely it was outside, which was quite fitting on such a lovely occasion. The middle of October was always a nice time of year in Arkadia because it wasn’t yet very cold out, but the fall colours were vibrant and the multicoloured leaves peppered the usually dull ground. It was lovely, Abby mused, especially, as she felt the fall breeze whisk through her long hair as she ran towards the car. Every once and awhile, Vera Kane would let her son take the car to school, though it was only on the days she wasn’t working. Abby was extremely thankful that Vera Kane wasn’t working today so that she may enjoy this night with her son._

_Since Abby was riding shotgun it meant that she possessed all control of the music being played. Thankfully, she and Marcus had a certain playlist they played all the time so that they wouldn’t have to argue over radio stations._  

_They weren't overly talkative on the car ride to their favourite little coffee shop, mainly because they were too busy singing along to their tunes. Though Abby could tell, at least from her side, that it was partially from the awkwardness of her fall._

_It wasn’t long before they reached the little shop and Marcus went inside to get their coffees. At this point, they both knew each other’s orders; Marcus got a large black coffee while Abby got a medium vanilla latte. And thankfully it wasn’t very long until he returned with them, but also with a small box braced under his arm._

_“I bought some fresh scones as well, thought it would be a nice treat. You know, for the drive.”_  

_“The drive?”_

_“Oh yeah, I thought that we’d go for a little drive into the city, unless you just want me to take you home-”_

_“No,” she interrupted his rambling. “I’d love to go for a drive actually. You know city lights are kind of my aesthetic.”_  

_“Wow, Abby, I never pegged you as being basic,” he joked. Though her only response was to give him a light punch in the bicep._

_“Hey, watch your tongue, Kane.”_

_“Careful, or I’ll spill this coffee all over you,” he laughed._

_“You wouldn’t dare!” Sometimes she couldn’t believe this boy. He started driving towards Polis at full speed, she suspected just so that he had an excuse not to be hit again. Abby knew she was small, but she could put up a good fight._  

_Evenings spent with Marcus were always fun though, especially when they went into the city. It was always like some sort of escape from the hectic reality they faced every day. Abby knew that she had to cherish this time even more now that it was her senior year because she knew that it probably wouldn’t last. Once they’d graduated, nothing would be the same ever again._

_The drive downtown to Polis was filled with their awful singing and raucous laughter, with a little bit of snacking on those scones in between. Though if she was being honest, Marcus was actually not a bad singer but he’d never admit it. She often wished that he wasn’t so hard on himself, he’d be happier if he could recognize how special he actually was. But, it wasn’t her place to tell him how to live his life, which was honestly the last thing she wanted to do._  

_As the sun set on the horizon, the lights of Polis slowly illuminated one by one, each bringing a sense of magic to every moment. The pink and tangerine sky was definitely picture perfect, which honestly reflected the entire evening. They’d even decided to park the car and stroll through one of the city parks to enjoy it before finding a little sandwich shop for dinner in the nearby market._

_“What do you want, Abby?”_

_“I’ll just have whatever you’re having I think.”_  

_“You sure?”_

_“Yeah, you have pretty good taste. Especially in friends,” she winked. And she laughed out loud when she heard that he’d snorted a little at her comment. He’d ended up getting a smoked meat sandwich, which Abby honestly enjoyed. He really did have good taste, she supposed. Not just in friends._

_Once they were done eating, Abby looked over at Marcus only to see him staring off into oblivion._  

_“Marcus? What is it?”_

_“Do you happen to remember where I parked the car?” Once again, her timing was a bit off but she couldn’t help but die of laughter._

_“Once again, we’re just stupid teenagers,” she giggled. “We can’t even find your mother’s car Marcus!”_

_“Okay, I suppose it’s pretty funny. I’ll give you that one Abby.” Though really, even Marcus Kane couldn’t hold back his laughter._

_“Live while we’re young I guess, right?” It was meant to be a simple, fun comment, but Abby’s words were quite the opposite. They carried with them a certain weight, perhaps the sad future apart that awaited the two of them. But once again, Abby was hesitant to stop Marcus from pursuing what he wants to do, and he felt the same about her._

_They eventually found their way back to the car, but not before a couple of stops along the way. They’ made sure to stop at some of the market stalls along the way, and maybe for some gelato as well. And once they’d found where they’d parked the car, the evening was once again 100% stress free. Just her and her best friend enjoying the time they had left._  

_Abby knew she had a good evening when the minute she sat down in the car she felt completely and utterly exhausted. As the sun had set, the moon had risen and brought with it the stars. And Abby secretly wished that the two of them could lie out underneath them and sleep like that. Instead, she settled for rolling down the window and resting her head on the door, letter her long hair get tangled in the wind. She looked up at the stars, the constellations what mapped out different stories. She wished hers and Marcus’ would be written in the stars someday._  

_There were some that Abby knew who were big believers in fate and destiny. Abby herself was a woman of science, not fate, but somehow as she looked up at the sky that eventually the stars would align and keep those she loved closer to her._

_It was only so long before the city lights of Polis were behind them and they’d hit the traffic leaving the city. It wasn't very late, only 9:00, but Abby felt that once the fast motion of the car and the lights weren't there to keep her awake she couldn’t stay awake any longer._

_Marcus only noticed that Abby had drifted off when he noticed that she hadn’t been speaking at all for the last ten minutes of the conversation, which was honestly very rare for Abigail Walters. Though, it all made sense when he saw her head resting on the windowsill, her long hair all tangled from the wind. Since they weren’t going anywhere fast in this traffic, Marcus decided he could spare a couple of moments. She looked a bit cold, so he carefully removed his leather jacket to lay over her. He positioned her so that she was completely back in the car so that he could roll up the window. Occasionally, his hand would flutter over and his fingers could untangle the knots in her beautiful hair. He’d stopped eventually though, because he realized that an action like that was much too intimate for best friends, or at least of their caliber. Neither of them were openly the touchy-feely kind, and Marcus shamed himself silently for allowing himself to be that way. Even if he only meant to untangle her perfect hair…_

  _It wasn’t long before Marcus woke Abby up when he parked on the street outside her house. Abby stirred awake, obviously not appreciating the fact that she’d have to get up when she’d been having such a lovely rest._

_“Sorry to wake you,” he whispered. “But unless you want to sleep in my mother’s car for the whole night it’s time to get up.” He’d offered to walk her to her front door like the gentleman he was, but she’d declined. Thinking that it was better if her sleep-deprived self wasn’t running the risk of saying something around him that she didn’t want to necessarily tell._  

_The next morning, he picked her up at her house for school with her signature medium vanilla latte waiting for her._  

***

 “I suppose the good old days were actually a thing,” she admitted. 

“God, we sound like we’re middle aged and we’re only twenty-eight!” Abby laughed at this.

“Sometimes I feel like I am after working crazy long shifts.” 

“Oh you are not wrong there, Abby.”

“Seriously though, we did do some dumb things together even if it was only ten years ago.”

“That’s part of being young right, doing dumb things. Even if they’re inexcusable-”

“Can we just not talk about that Marcus, please?” She really didn’t want to go down this road since apparently it won't’ leave her the hell alone. Marcus obviously sensed her frustration.

“Hey, I’m sorry I brought it up” 

“No it's okay, it’s just… I don’t wish to revisit all the dumb things we did when we were younger.” Their afternoon was now brought to an awkward halt, since neither of them seemed like they felt like talking anymore. Abby desperately tried to make an excuse to leave.

“So I, um, I promised I’d meet Callie for lunch, so I think I should be going,” she stuttered. She could tell he wasn’t buying it, but he let her go anyways. He understood, but he wouldn’t let her go without one last question.

“Should we do this again sometime?”

“Marcus, I don’t want to be rude, but I just broke up with Jake and I just need a little time on my own for awhile.” That was a lie, Abby didn’t want to be alone. She wanted to share her life and love with someone, desperately too. Though she couldn’t really express that yet.

“Well, I mean we could go out again as friends or something. But um, whatever you want,” he said running his hands through his hair. Great, she’d embarrassed herself again by thinking he was thinking about a relationship with her. God, why was she so stupid. “My number is in your recent calls section, so you’ll now how to reach me. And you also know where I live,” he chuckled.

“See you around, Kane.” 

“See ya around, Walters.” She couldn’t help but smile to herself as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long guys! I was on vacation for over a week and it took a bit to get back into writing as i was trying to catch up with the rest of my life. Thanks for being patient and i hope you enjoyed.


	4. Dances and Dinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Marcus decide to out for a friendly dinner and Thelonious Jaha is still an asshole.

_“And don’t forget, today is the last day to buy tickets to the Halloween dance. Tickets will be sold in the lower foyer at lunch.” Thelonious Jaha’s annoying voice rang through the PA system during announcements like a broken record. He’d been selling dance tickets all week, and quite frankly Abby was sick of hearing about it._

_“I’m pretty sure the fact that he’s the one selling them is the reason no one’s buying,” Marcus chuckled, and Abby accidentally let out a snort in response._

_“I’m sorry Mr. Kane, Ms. Walters, but is something more important to you two right now than Act 3 Scene two of Hamlet?”_

_“No, sorry Mr. Pike,” Abby spoke up. Meanwhile, Marcus was embarrassed at being called out and could only mumble a slight “Sorry.”_

_“Yo Kane, just take her to the dance already,” whispered Indra, his longtime friend who sat behind him. She’d constantly whisper things in his ear during class, which often concerned prompting him to make a move on Abby. Abby didn’t exactly mind, but when everyone in the school encouraged her, it could get a bit annoying._  

_Thank god Mr. Pike wasn’t in a good mood that day and no one dared to say another word, so she and Marcus could make it through a whole period without the constant matchmaking attempts from their classmates._  

_It’s not that either of them didn’t like each other, it’s just that some relationships are better left as friendly. Right?_

_In all truthfulness, Abby kind of wanted to go to the dance, as cheesy as school dances always are. It was senior year and she’d actually never been to one, but honestly it was because she’d always had better plans. Especially on Halloween, there were places she’d rather be than a smelly school gymnasium._  

_Instead, she and Marcus were planning on handing out candy at her house and after Trick-Or-Treating hour was over they would settle in for a night of horror movies. No matter what they did really, they had fun. They always invited their other friends, but they actually enjoyed school dances like regular teenagers. Abby supposed that Marcus and herself were just, different._  

_They’d actually chosen that they’d leave school at lunch to go back to Abby’s house to decorate. Abby’s little brothers, Eric and Jack, would be extremely excited to see the decorations put up by the time they got home from school. Unfortunately, Marcus’ car (technically his mother’s) was parked in the back lot of the school and the only way to get there was to go through the lower foyer. Shit, they’d have to get by Thelonious and his cronies before they could leave._

_Marcus was waiting for her at her locker waiting to escort her to his car, to which Abby almost thought was the stupidest idea ever._  

_“Marcus, maybe we should leave at separate time, you know so we don’t have to walk through together”_

_“Don’t be dramatic, we’ll just walk really fast” he assured. Though she’d pretty sure they both knew any attempt was futile._

_And of course, right as they were passing by the table, Thelonious called them out._

_“Marcus, Abby, care to buy some dance tickets?” Ugh, she wanted to smack that stupid smirk off his face._

_“No thanks, Thelonious. Unlike yourself, we have lives outside of school,” Marcus sneered. Thelonious easily rubbed him the wrong way, and Abby really hoped that this didn’t get out of control._

_“I’m sorry, I just thought that the Vice-President of student council would like to attend a school dance. You know, partake in the community.”_  

_“I hope you know that I do partake in school activities Thelonious, just not these types of activities.” Marcus was starting to stride closer to Thelonious’ table where he was selling tickets. Marcus was taller and more fit than he was, so Abby hoped that her friend would intimidating him into shutting the hell up and letting them be on their way. “Besides,” Marcus added. “Do you even have a date to this thing,” he sneered. Marcus was kind enough to not shout it for the school to hear, only for Thelonious and those who were sitting close to him. But it obviously threatened him, and he opened his mouth to make a comeback causing Abby to step forward._

_“Oh, and so do these other activities include Abigail Walters?” Oh, this little shit needed to learn when to shut up._

_Abby quickly moved forward, before Marcus even had time to react, and slapped Thelonious right across the face. Knowing very well, and much to her pleasure, that it would probably leave a nasty mark for tonight’s yearbook photos._  

_The two of them made a run for it at that point, since Thelonious was mostly in shock that tiny, Abigail Walters, had just slapped him right in front of the student body. It’s not like anyone else was surprised except him, every one of their peers knew he was an asshole._  

_They’d made sure to be outside and in the safety of the car before saying anything._  

_“Sorry about that Abby, I let that get a bit out of control. I should’ve just listened to you”_

_“No no, its just Thelonious being an ass. Besides, I’ve wanted to do that since ninth grade, it feels good actually.”_

_“I’m sure it does,” he laughed. “And I enjoyed watching you use him as a punching bag.”_

_“That was pretty funny, did you see his face as we were running away.” She was in full out hysterics at this point, and so was he. It was to the point that she doubted his abilities to even drive a car._  

_“He looked so fucking shocked, honestly he should’ve seen it coming.”_

_Their raucous laughter died don eventually and they reverted back to small talk about first two periods. Abby could only complain how she hated her molecular genetics unit in biology and would rather study medical things, which honestly all that terminology went right over his head. Marcus complained about how his AP Law class was moving “too slowly” for him, to which Abby could only roll her eyes in addition to a dramatic sigh. Most of their car rides after school consisted of various complaints about either their peers or just how dumb their classes were, typical things._

_Marcus always tried his best to understand Abby’s science problems, which Abby was always super thankful for. Meanwhile, all his talk of case studies went right over her head, but she tried anyways._  

_It was such a lovely fall day; the autumn glow was always one of Abby’s favourite sights. All the bare trees that had shed their colourful leaves basked in the wind, and the sun only served to accentuate the colours that blanketed the ground. Marcus didn’t quite feel the same since fall always brought him terrible memories, but he always tried to act as if it didn’t bother him._

_If Abby left home to go to university, she knew she’d miss fall in Arkadia. The big city wasn’t nearly as magical as this place, and also the entire season wouldn’t exactly be the same if she had no one to share it with. Her ambitions told her to leave, but her heart kept telling her to stay home._  

_She knew, however, that Marcus wanted nothing more than to leave home, to run away from all the bad memories left here. She didn’t want him to go, but she knew it would be worse if she was the one to stop him. She was always scared of the void he’d leave once he left, but she’d worry about that later._

_They’d pulled onto the very familiar street and right up to her house in no time. It’s not like she lived too far from the school, but it was still a bit of a distance._

_“So, what do you want to start with first Abby?”_

_“Let’s do the pumpkins first! It’s the best part and I think we need some fun,” she giggled._

_“Alrighty, I’ll go get them. They’re in your garage right?” She nodded quickly in response, cause she was way too distracted by the way that his hair a bit messy from having the windows down during their drive. Shit, she couldn't be doing this, she didn’t need to be getting far too attached now when she knew he was going to leave the minute he could. Well, she didn’t know that for sure, but she could guess by the way he always spoke. And worst of all, she didn’t need him getting attached to her._

_God knows Marcus Kane didn’t need her trying to hold him back from what he needs. The last thing she wanted was to see him hurt again._

_Though this really wasn’t her lucky day because here he came, strolling through her house with a pumpkin under each arm. They weren’t exactly light, and she could clearly see his muscles through his shirt…_

_God Abby, get a grip._

_“Hey, hey Abby you there?”_

_“What? Hm, yeah I’m here.”_

_“Sorry, it's just cause you blanked out there for a minute.”_

_“I was just thinking, about things.” Man, why was she so freaking awkward._

_“Okay, well we should get started then, right?”_  

_“Yes, yes let’s do it,” she stuttered. She was surprised at this point that Marcus was still her friends because as much as she was so comfortable around him there were those times where she’d become completely tongue tied._  

_She was actually quite surprised at how good Marcus was at pumpkin carving, because his simple ghost carving was much better than her more traditional one. He was honestly secretly pretty artistic, when he wanted to be of course._

_They joked around a bit, but it only took one comment about how Abby was staring at him a lot that day to make her feel incredibly embarrassed for the millionth time that day. God, it was like she was being caught for committing a crime. There had to be some way to save herself from this really, really weird moment._  

_“I was only staring at you because I was imagining how funny you’d look with pumpkin insides all over you.” And she wasted no time in flinging some at him, and luckily her shot landed right on his face._  

_“Ohh, Abigail Walters you will pay for this,” he laughed as he scooped up more pumpkin and flung it right at her face. Okay, payback was a bitch. They went back and forth for a while, like they were children. It was good, Abby thought, they were having fun. No worries, right. They deserved to act like kids every once in awhile, no matter how stupid it was._

_It was only when they were done, though, that they realized just how much of a mess they’d made._  

_“You know, maybe we should clean up,” he finally suggested with  a huge grin on his face._

_“Maybe we should, but that was fun.”_

_“I can’t believe Thelonious thinks that a stupid school dance is better than this,” he muttered._  

_“Agreed. It’s much nicer to be here, with just you.” Dammit, she almost let it slip again. Why was she finding it so hard to control herself? Thankfully, Marcus didn’t quite pick up on what she was saying; he was far too occupied with trying to get the pumpkin off his face. She noticed his struggle right away and ran off to get him a facecloth, to which he was very thankful. Only she was the one to run it under the water and press it to his face. She slowly wiped away the mess they’d made, and her eyes seemed to lock onto his. God, they were so close right now. All she could think about doing was leaning in to kiss him, and she almost did. As she wiped the facecloth across his lips, she felt the urge to lean in getting stronger and stronger. But, alas, she knew better and she quickly broke the contact hoping that he was oblivious to her obvious thoughts._  

*** 

“So this time it was me who was afraid you wouldn’t show,” Abby smirked as Marcus approached their table. They’d agreed to go out to dinner, as friends of course, at The Cheesecake Factory near the centre of town. It had been there for years, and it was always one of their favourite places to go with their friends. It was weird, with it just being the two of them, but it was kind of nice at the same time.

It wasn’t like this was a fancy dinner or anything, and nothing close to a date. It’s just that it was odd, like this was something she'd always wanted and now that it was here, she really didn’t know how to go on. Perhaps it was because so much had happened between that time she longed for him in the twelfth grade to now. Or, maybe it was because she’d always seen this as a dream, and now that it was happening she couldn’t believe it. 

“Are you planning on staying in Arkadia? Or will you be going back to New York?” Thank god Marcus took some initiative a started the conversation, because otherwise the entire evening would have been Abby just staring at him. His hair was neatly combed back, and he was showing the beginnings of a stubble, nothing major though. He was wearing a simple grey button down shirt that he tucked into his jeans. He seemed fairly simple, but she couldn’t seem to peel her eyes away.

 “No, I’m going to stay here, I’ve actually really missed it. I just got my residency moved over to the hospital in Polis”

“Oh, I work in Polis too. We should meet up for lunch sometime,” he suggested. Quite optimistically, like he knew she wouldn’t turn him down.

“Where do you work exactly?” 

“I work at Skaikru Law actually.”

“Wait, isn’t that one of the biggest and most recognized firms in the country?”

“Maybe,” he smirked.

“And you didn’t think to mention this before. The Marcus Kane I know would’ve been bragging about it non-stop” Abby couldn’t believe it, this was practically Marcus’ dream. Something had to be wrong with him to not be telling that to everyone he met. 

“Well, I just started so it’s not like I have some sort of glorious position or anything. Also, it just didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up, you know, with you…” Oh, so this was about her. He didn’t want brag when it looked like her own life was falling apart. Oh…

“Well, hopefully you’ll make your way up the corporate ladder fast then.” 

“Same here,” he chuckled. “This is the dream, after all.”

“Is that why you came back, Marcus? Because of an amazing job opportunity in Polis? And why live in Arkadia?” 

“There were lots of reasons, honestly. I got offered the job through a professor of mine and I didn’t think twice about it, i just took it. There wasn’t much for me in California, ya know.”

“Never had any girlfriends or anything? That surprises me,” she laughed. In all honesty though, it did. Marcus was attractive and kind, ladies loved him to pieces. 

“Well there were girls, but none of them stuck. Same with the friends, no one really stuck with me. Not like the people I find here.” 

“I never thought I’d see you missing this than what he kept from her. ace. You always wanted to leave.”

“I did, but I realized that I left more behind than I gained. I don’t know, things just didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped. Also,” he smiled. “My mother wanted me to come back.” Abby lit up at the mention of Vera Kane, a woman whose compassion extended to infinity. Vera was like her second mother when she was younger, and sometimes a very close confidante. Abby’s parents went away on business a lot, and Vera was always there if Abby needed to talk. They honestly became quite close, just as Marcus had become very close to her family.

“How is your mother? I haven’t spoken to her in such a long time.”

“She’d good. She moved to Trikru Village, a small town about an hour and a half drive from here. She likes it there, with the whole small town dynamic. She didn’t have much in Arkadia after I went away to school.” 

“I’m glad she’s doing so well, she’s earned it.”

“Yeah, she has. Anyways, how are your parents and your brothers?”

“Oh, they moved to Florida a few years ago.”

“Oh yes, I think I heard that somewhere. They’d always wanted to live there if I remember correctly.” She was surprised that Marcus remembered all this, it was nice. That even after all these years of not talking, it was like they’d never stopped being best friends. 

“They’re happy there. That’s what matters, even if I miss having them close by.” 

“Well, if you’re ever in need of a family dinner you can join me and my mom. There’s always room for you at the dinner table.” Then years later and the Kane family would still invite her over for dinner, it felt almost too much like old times.

“Speaking of food,” Abby interjected. “I’m starving, we should order.” 

“Yeah,” he laughed. “We really should.” They spent some quiet moments looking through their menus, reflecting on what they each had said. Abby knew that Marcus probably had lots that he wasn’t telling her, but to be fair, she had a fair bit of secrets from him. Probably a lot more that he was keeping from her. 

“Shit,” Marcus mumbled.

“What is it?”

“Hold the menu close to your face.”

“Why? Marcus what-”

“Just do it quickly… shit never mind,” he whispered. Abby didn’t know what the hell was going on until she put her menu down and followed Marcus’ gaze. Oh, there’s the problem.

Clad in a nice grey suit and strutting towards them was Thelonious Jaha, still with that same asshole smirk. 

“Marcus, Abby, I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t know you’d moved back to Arkadia.” 

“Well, we have,” Marcus grumbled.

“Are you two on a date tonight?” 

“No, we’re just going out to dinner as friends,” Abby responded coolly. She knew Marcus was going to lose his temper very quickly if she let him converse with Thelonious, so she’d decided to take control of the conversation.

“Well, I was sure that you’d be out on a date, I’d always predicted that you two would be endgame by now.” 

“Well now you’re not just an asshole, you’re an incorrect one,” Marcus interjected. Abby shot him a look of disapproval.

“Well, I just came over to say hello. Also, that I’ve entered a career in politics so keep your eyes open for me in the future.”

“Thelonious, I highly doubt that at 28 years old you’re qualified to campaign for anything yet,” Abby sighed.

“Well, I’m just saying that in the future, you should consider voting for me. Also, you two should just go out on a damn date already. Goodnight.” And with that, he marched towards the door while both Abby and Marcus heaved dramatic sighs. 

“Okay, I understand why you wanted to hide behind menus now,” she laughed.

“Somehow he’s gotten even more insufferable. Ten years ago i wouldn’t have thought it possible,” he smirked. She laughed out loud, drawing even more attention to them, and she reached out and smacked his arm.

“You could’ve come up with a better plan than the menus though,” Abby chuckled.

“I only saw him coming at the last minute, I tried to save us.”

“Seriously, who interrupts a dinner to tell people to vote for him in the future?” Abby realized right away that instead of saying dinner she almost said date. Once again, she almost made things very, very awkward. But, part of her kind of wished to say it. 

***

She’d arrived home pretty late since she’d decided to take the bus back to Callie’s parents’ house. Marcus had offered to drive her, but Abby wanted some time alone before she walked through the door to find Callie harping her for details.

And especially at this late hour, Abby definitely wasn’t expecting to find Jacapo, his girlfriend Sarah, and Callie all drunk and sitting in the middle of the living room.

“Abby! So good to see you,” they all cheered. And then, came the onslaught of questions.

“How was your date Abby?” She’d forgive Jacapo for not knowing better since they hadn’t exactly talked since she’d came back.

“Shhh, it wasn’t supposed to be a date,” Callie slurred to which Abby nodded triumphantly. “Except that doesn’t mean that they abstained from anything.” 

“Callie!” She understood her friend was drunk, but did she just go there? 

“Sorry, I’m just wondering why you’re home so late.”

“I took the bus, and I’m tired from it. So I think I’ll be heading to bed.” 

“Goodnight Abby,” they all cried out after her. God, she really hoped that she wouldn’t have to deal with their hangovers in the morning.

Abby lay awake on the mattress for a very long time, mulling over the night in her head. God, why did she feel this way, why was she letting herself give in? But unlike ten years ago, she saw no reason to hold back any longer. She just had to go for it, because this is truly what she’s wanted for a while now. She reached over and unplugged her phone from its charging cord so that she could hold the phone up to her ear. She quickly dialed Marcus and prayed that he’d pick up, because this really couldn’t wait. Thankfully, the man answered. 

“Abby? What the hell it’s like midnight. I work tomorrow I got to-”

“Marcus, take me on a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for falling off the face of the earth for a bit there, but I'm back and with even more saltiness towards Jaha. Hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
